May 22

So it's been a while since my last actual blog post, been a little caught up in posting my dirty little secrets.  So a quick overview on life.  It's starting to get hot, but by the same token, I walked to my car at nine PM the other day and it was light!  It's been raining like crazy for the last week, and is set to keep raining this week.  I got my FAFSA filled out, and got some of the results back, thus far I can sort of afford college next semester.  The world, obviously, didn't end yesterday, I must confess I'm a tiny bit little disappointed, and a lot less worried about December 21, 2012 (not that I was worried, but it was a random thought).

So this weekend my mother went to her boyfriend's, and I went to my grandmother's to finish my quilt.  Friday and Saturday were two days to just relax, take in nature, and savor the hummingbirds buzzing around my head.  Something you need to learn about me, I adore hummingbirds.  If I could domesticate them I would in a heartbeat.  I mean so much energy in something so tiny is so mind blowing.  The beauty they possess is also very mind boggling, they are amazing creatures.  My tattoo will probably either feature a hummingbird or a dragonfly.

Well being that my house was empty I had to stay somewhere else Saturday night.  So I called on my best friend and agreed to help her paint part of her house if she let me stay the night.  So we painted, and we didn't start until late evening.  Well she's never painted a wall in her life, never used a roller, no idea what I meant when I said I was cutting in the wall, it was kind of amusing actually.  Well I'm not a professional painter, but I've been around the block a lot.  So I taught her everything and we started.  I just finished the one wall when she asked if it was bad she was light headed.  I said it was so we packed up the paint stuff and decided it was bed-time.  Sort of.  On the way to bed we got the munchies, so we had to rustle up a snack.  Then she points out a bag of movies that she just got.  Right on top was Miss Congeniality.  Another thing you need to know about me, that's one of my favorite movies of all time, and I really like Sandra Bullock, she's like Chuck Norris in woman form!  Well I couldn't pass up that opportunity.  So even though it was late, we watched this movie, about a beauty pageant, the FBI, and bombs, and boys think we have pillow fights... silly boys!  So were watching the movie and all the sudden my boyfriend texts me.  Let me tell, I have the sweetest guy on the planet.  He's in Hungary visiting his dad and is six hours ahead of me.  He gets up around 2 AM in the morning his time, to text me goodnight in my time.  So last night we talked for a couple hours at 4 AM his time, and the bad girlfriend award goes to me for keeping him awake!  So eventually we all pass out, and I bounce out of bed at 6 AM, it's what I do.  Erin and I had decided to continue painting in the morning, so she gets up, rolls over, and says, "Not painting today, no way in hell".  So I'm laying on her floor reading a book I found and snickering to myself.  I was going to make her paint, then my mother called.  She needed a recipe, well said recipe was at the house.  So I get home and call her to ask for the recipe again and get, "Well we had to start so forget it, are you still at Erin's?".  Well mom I called about the recipe (my mother is very blonde sometimes, ok, all the time).  So I look around and might as well start the lawn, because hey, I'm not a bad daughter... always.

Now my mother has been trying to move closer to her boyfriend for the last few months.  At the very least she wants a smaller house then the one we currently live in.  Now I've been keeping this in the back of my mind on a back burner.  Things are starting to fall into place, and this move is coming up in the near future.  So I'm mowing the lawn, and every has new meaning.  I mowed around the trees we planted when we first moved here, and I realized I wasn't going to get to see them get much bigger.  I mowed around the sandpile, and realized we couldn't take that with us.  Maneuvered around the swing set/tree house and realized that wouldn't go with us either.  It was just a weird feeling.  Then I came inside and walked past so many things that also wouldn't go with us.  The boys' growth chart, the rooms I painted, the floor I spent a week putting in, things I didn't think I cared about, now come to realize I'm going to miss.

There's also things I won't miss.  The applesauce stain on the kitchen ceiling, the whole in wall from the door Scott put through it, the candle wax on the floor in the living room.  It's just an odd thing to think about.  Ever since we've moved here I've been looking for a way out.  Chose a college 2.5 hours away to get out, and now it's almost time to go, and I'm not ready anymore.  I've known I was going to miss the people here, well some of them, but I didn't realize I would miss the house too.  It's very odd.