So a while back I went to a party and we played "Never Have I Ever". Basically everyone sits in a circle and puts up ten fingers. Going around the circle, someone says something they've done (such as, never have I ever failed a class), then everyone who has done it has to put a finger down. The person that still has fingers up when everyone else's is down wins. Then a few days later I was talking to a some girlfriends and we were discussing some concepts we'd like in our future husband. Below are the top 10 characteristics I've chosen, if a potential guy doesn't add up, he's probably not the one for me!
So Never Will I Ever Settle For:
1. A man who is not a Christian or who is unwilling to take up his rightful place as the spiritual leader of our family- The bible says it's the father of the household's job to guide his wife and children, and I'm more then happy to let him lead (within reason of course).
2. A man who makes no effort to understand my perspective- I'm not saying that he has to agree with everything I do, I doubt he will, however, he needs to at least be able to see where I'm coming from. This of course goes both ways. Which means he needs to take the time to look through my eyes (whether he thinks I'm totally wrong or not).
3. A man who doesn't love me for exactly who I am- I know that we all have characteristics that annoy other people, but my future husband needs to be able accept the bad with the good. Basically I don't want him saying something like, "Well I love you, but well... that six-year-old attitude you sometimes get needs to go!". It doesn't seem right to try and change the person you "love", if you loved them why do they need to change? I'm sure we'll get in disagreements about annoying things we do and that's ok. So as at the end of the day, he still loves me.
4. A man who smokes and/or drinks excessively- I've lived in those kinds of households and have no intention of doing so again, or putting anyone else in that kind of situation, whether it be kids or pets.
5. A man who has more than 2 previous sexual partners- Sex is something that was designed to be a part of marriage. Sex shouldn't exist outside of the context of marriage. Sadly, that's highly prevalent in our society. However the way I see it, I've kept myself pure for him, he should be doing the same for me.
6. A man who has little to no respect for his parents, especially his mother- The bible says we are to honor parents, and I'm not saying he isn't allowed to get in a fight with his, that's natural. I fight with my parental unit as well, it's part of life. I'm talking about the guy who consistently puts his mother down, doesn't respect either parent, walks all over them, that kind of thing. This is mainly because studies have shown that men who have little respect for their mothers have little respect for their wives. I've also seen this in action and it's not pretty.
7. A man with no sense of humor- I may not be an overly funny person, but I love to laugh. I love doing silly things to get other people to smile, and I want a guy who does that too. Someone who doesn't mind taking a silly picture, just because. Or who puts on a hula skirt and pretends to dance just for a laugh. We all need humor in our lives.
8. A man who values money over family and love- To those of you that know me, I'm not really a materialistic person. Would having a lot of money be nice? Probably. Is it something I really care about? Not at all. I'm the kind of person who can window shop for hours just looking at all the pretty things, and never buy anything, because I'd never use it. I don't want a man who's so obsessed with money that he's willing to work crazy hours, or whatnot to get it, it's not worth it, and God will provide what we need.
9. A man who isn't at home at least 5-6 nights a week- Obviously this wouldn't apply if he was going on a business trip or something, I'm talking more about he is consistently home 5-6 nights a week. I've seen marriages go sour because one spouse is working days, the other nights, and then they never see each other. Or marriages that fall apart because one spouse is never home. Now I'm a trucker's daughter. I've seen marriages that work, even when he's on the road weeks at a time. However I'm not strong enough to live that way. I'm not strong enough to call my husband every night and see him maybe twice a month. I need someone to be there, and it's hard on kids too. It's hard to ask when daddy's going to be home, and get an I don't know in response. I wouldn't wish that on any kid. I believe marriages are meant to be spent together.
10. A man who doesn't understand balance- This is my most encompassing characteristic. I've included every type of balance in here. The balance between love/money, funny/serious, early/late, together/separate, and so on. Obviously some are more important, such as the balance between funny/serious, because it's hard to keep a relationship healthy when you're trying to discuss something serious and the other person won't be serious. Then there's the less serious ones like early/late (to appointments and meetings, etc.). However, life requires balance. There's a time for relaxing and a time for doing, and I need someone to balance with me. So no "hover-spouse" who can't do his own thing every once in a while, no "that's woman's work" spouse who expects a perfect little housewife, and no always somber spouse either. Got to be able to find a balance.
So there you have it. The 10 things I will never settle for. What are the 10 things you'd never settle for? Why?
No comments:
Post a Comment